You're standing in the therapy office, and the occupational therapist hands you a catalog the size of a phone book. "Here's what's available for self-feeding," she says. Forty-seven pages of spoons. It's not that you don't appreciate the options. It's that you don't know which problem you're trying to solve yet, let alone which $28 spoon solves it better than the $12 one. Assistive technology for daily living skills isn't complicated because the tools are complex. It's complicated because there are thousands of products, terminology is inconsistent, and no one teaches you how to start with the skill and work backward to the tool. This guide does that work for you. How to Think About Assistive Technology. Assistive technology (AT) is anything that helps a person do something they couldn't do independently or do more easily. That definition spans a $3 reacher to a $30,000 power wheelchair. For daily living skills, most of what you'll encounter falls into three tiers:  Low-tech tools require no power source and are usually one-time purchases under $50. Built-up handles on utensils, dressing sticks, shower chairs.  Mid-tech tools may have batteries or basic electronics but don't connect to apps or require configuration. Talking medication reminders, weighted utensils with timers, automatic jar openers.  High-tech tools involve software, customization, or integration with other systems. Environmental control units that operate lights and locks, tablet-based meal planning apps with visual schedules, smart home setups controlled by voice or switch. Start low-tech unless the skill gap genuinely...

A practical guide to assistive devices for self-care, household tasks, and mobility, organized by skill, not device type.

Assistive Technology That Helps: Tools for Daily Living Independence

Your child can button their own shirt. They just don't know it yet. And you won't find out until you stop doing it for them. That's the core tension in teaching independence to children with disabilities. Your instinct to help is faster, cleaner, and kinder in the moment. But every time you tie their shoes because it's quicker, you're choosing your schedule over their next developmental step. Independence isn't a finish line. It's a series of small capabilities that accumulate over years, each one built through repetition in real situations. This guide maps those capabilities across five essential skill areas and four developmental stages, from preschool through young adulthood. The Five Skill Areas That Build Independence. Independence isn't one skill. It's a cluster of competencies across daily life. Families who focus only on self-care miss the executive function and social navigation skills that determine whether a young adult can hold a job or manage a household.  Self-care and personal hygiene form the foundation. Dressing, bathing, grooming, toileting, and eating without assistance. These are the skills that determine whether someone needs round-the-clock support or can be alone for hours.  Household management determines whether someone can live alone or needs a housemate. Laundry, meal preparation, cleaning, basic home maintenance, and managing a living space. Schools rarely teach these, so they fall to families.  Communication and self-advocacy are the skills that protect someone when you're not in the room. Asking for help, explaining needs to strangers, understanding their rights under...

A guide to teaching independence across self-care, household tasks, communication, money management, and community participation.

Building Independence: A Life Skills Roadmap for Children with Special Needs

Your eight-year-old can read three grade levels ahead but freezes when the teacher asks if they need help. Your teenager has an IEP packed with accommodations they never use because they won't ask for them. Your young adult attends medical appointments but can't explain their diagnosis to a new doctor. Self-advocacy isn't something that happens on its own. It's a skill you teach, starting younger than you think and building intentionally across years. The child who learns to say "I need a break" at seven becomes the adult who can tell an employer "I need this accommodation" at twenty-seven. Why Self-Advocacy Starts Early. Most parents focus on advocating for their child. That's necessary. But if your child never learns to speak up for themselves, you're building a lifelong dependency where they'll always need someone else to fight their battles. Self-advocacy has three parts: understanding your disability, knowing your rights, and communicating your needs. Elementary schoolers can start with the third part. Middle schoolers can begin learning the first two. High schoolers should be doing all three, with you coaching from the sidelines instead of leading the conversation. Research from the National Center on Secondary Education and Transition shows that students who participate in their own IEP meetings have better post-school outcomes. They're more likely to be employed, enrolled in postsecondary education, and living independently five years after high school. The skill transfers. A student who can explain their accommodations to a teacher will be able to explain them to a...

Practical guide to developing self-advocacy skills from elementary through high school, with age-appropriate scripts.

Teaching Self-Advocacy: How to Help Your Child Speak Up for Their Needs

Extracurricular programs are a great way to integrate children with special needs into new settings, form friendships and have some fun. Children can gain a sense of pride and accomplishment by participating and succeeding in activities. Many benefit from the therapeutic value that engaging in recreation provides. Sports, art, music and dance may be highly reinforcing for some individuals. Some children prefer to engage in more leisurely activities such as reading. If you want your child to be truly successful, be certain that the activity is rewarding and has a positive effect on behavior, social skills or other areas of concern.  Beware though as some children tend to become "over booked". While participating in programs outside of school can be a lot of fun, having too many activities scheduled throughout the week can be detrimental. Quantity over quality is never the solution. Your child would be best served in one activity that is highly structured than several just to "try it out". Introducing your child to several activities is absolutely awesome; just not at the same time!! Think quality when you introduce your child to activities, and then consider the quantity.   Here are some things to consider before selecting activities:  Does my child possess the skills required to participate, such as attending or social skills? Is the activity going to benefit my child in a meaningful and functional way?  Will this activity address my child's needs? Does the program conflict with my child's primary therapy?...

Balance is key for children with special needs in extracurricular activities. Ensure activities are beneficial without over-scheduling.

Ying / Yang – Balance Your Child With The Outside World

"I Am A Child Just Like You" by Travis Breeding is a beautiful book that seeks to teach children acceptance and understanding for those who are "different", and to look past those differences and find the things that they have in common. The book is told in the voice of Mason, a boy with Autism, who uses everyday examples to help us understand him. "I Am A Child Just Like You" has beautiful illustrations by 14 year old Kimberly Freeman that help Mason's words come to life. Mason tells us how he is different: "You might like Spiderman and I like Thomas the Train. I think in pictures, you might think in words". He also shows us how he and his peers could be the same: "I am like you. I like to play with toys. I like to run around and jump up and down". Mason gives us some great insight into the reasons for his actions: "I want to follow the rules, but I don't like rules that are not written where I can see them". "Sometimes I think about too many things at once and have a meltdown." His words of wisdom could be used to help school-aged children as well as their parents, understand the mind of a child with autism: "Please be patient with me, so I can learn how to interact with you." Author Travis Breeding was diagnosed with Autism at the age of 22. Growing up, he knew that he was "different" and...

Travis Breeding's book teaches children to accept those with autism, highlighting commonalities and providing insight into autistic minds.

Book Review: I Am A Child Just Like You

. . . A strategy for helping your child with special needs learn to problem solve. Moms and Dads of children with special needs tend to take on the role of butler and maid far too long for the well-being of their son or daughter. As a consultant I have seen how the pain and guilt of having a child with developmental challenges affects the expectations parents have for their son or daughter with Autism, Asperger, Pervasive Developmental Disability or Attention Deficit Disorder.  I have observed how they anticipate every need, problem solve for them, communicate for them, pick up after them as well as take care of every activity of daily living. Many of these children never have to initiate, think of a plan or carry out that plan. Many of these children are not required to communicate or think for themselves. Many become upset, throw tantrums when their needs and wants are not immediately met, so families do it all to keep the peace. Then to add to this challenge, parents of special needs children may both work and have siblings to help with homework, getting to soccer practice or carpooling to play dates, making them feel they cannot take the needed time to wait for their child with special needs to communicate or problem solve.  Moms are choosing clothing and dressing their children. Moms are carrying the laundry basket, doing the laundry and putting clothes away. Dads are choosing lunch items, making the sandwich and...

Encourage independence in children with special needs by reducing over-assistance and teaching problem-solving and decision-making.

Firing the Butler and the Maid . . .

 It seems like so rarely do we see autism in fiction, and when it's done as well as  Living Through Charlie , one has to wonder at how much truth really lies behind the story. While it might have started out more like a memoir, author Rebecca Woods says it really ended up as a novel, "because real life, for the most part, isn't as interesting as fiction."    Living Through Charlie is a story about Meg, a mother with the perfect family picture in mind, but instead she struggles with coming to terms with accepting her son, who has Asperger's, and herself.    Having raised two daughters with special needs, one with ADD and one with Asperger's, readers might wonder if Meg is a reflection of the author herself. "My life isn't that horrible, my experiences weren't that way, and I wasn't that self-destructive," says Woods. "I would say that the emotions are true, and non-fictional, but the actual events are fiction."   What Kirkus Review calls "an irreverent but stylish critique of a privileged social milieu," Living Through Charlie is set in the mom-eat-mom world of private schools in southern California. "Private school is an interesting environment," says Woods. "I thought it was a great environment in which to set this book because it's such a microcosm of 'mommy competition.'"   That being said, Living Through Charlie is not an attack on the private school system, but rather an observation...

Rebecca Woods' novel 'Living Through Charlie' explores a mom navigating her son's Asperger's within the competitive private school world.

Author Rebecca Woods an Inspiration to All Moms

August is kind of a tough month for me. Two years ago this month, I had my stroke and first brain surgery. Last August, I had my facial nerve reconstruction. The past two summers I have had to recover. After my stroke, besides having paralysis on the right side of my body, the left side of my face was paralyzed too. At first I couldn’t eat, swallow, or speak, but with therapy I was able to do these things again. I just couldn’t close my eye or smile. After many tests, the doctors found out my facial nerve had been permanently damaged. We had heard from Dr. Muhonen, my neurosurgeon, about a surgery to replace the damaged facial nerve called cross-facial nerve reanimation. My parents researched a lot of doctors, and we had many consultations. My mom had a huge list of questions she asked every doctor. I got really tired of hearing those questions over an over again.  The final doctor we saw was Dr. Babak Azizzadeh. who is picture above with me at his practice. He is a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon and head and neck surgeon. He is the director of the Facial Paralysis Institute and has been on Oprah and other TV shows. His office was really nice, and his staff was really nice too.  One of the questions my mom asked every doctor was how many children they had done this type of surgery on. None of the doctors had done one in...

Gracie overcame facial paralysis from a stroke with Dr. Azizzadeh's help, undergoing nerve reanimation surgery, now regaining her smile.

Gracie Gets An Everlasting Smile

What bigger crisis does one face than learning their child has been diagnosed with a chronic condition? It's virtually impossible to collect your thoughts, let alone organize them. For me, organizing the many aspects of my life after receiving that news alleviated some of the stress and allowed me to focus on helping my child. You need to navigate through mazes of information that must first be acquired, then digested and finally stored. In a crisis situation we tend to look at the total picture, which is extremely overwhelming. Instead, we need to break down "life" into tiny more manageable little bites. Then we can take control of it rather than having it take control of us.  Learning how to acquire, understand, utilize and store pertinent medical information and knowledge makes us better informed and more actively involved with our own medical care. This organization leads to less medical errors, shorter hospital stays, increased positive outcomes, the motivation to seek preventive care and the skills to negotiate the health care system. Why do I know this?        Seventeen years ago, without warning, I was catapulted into the healthcare arena diagnosed with breast cancer a mere three hours after my daughter was diagnosed with Crohn's disease. We were simultaneously thrown into a world of second opinions, diagnostic tests, invasive procedures, surgeries, and countless medical personnel. Even with my medical background and highly organized nature, dealing with this crisis was overwhelming. I found that documenting...

Organizing life after a chronic diagnosis helps manage stress and medical care through documentation and understanding insurance.

How to Organize the Chaos

 Last time we talked about how to use choices and questions to help children learn responsibility at as early an age as possible. This week, we talk about an important part of asking questions and giving choices: making sure a child has enough information to make good choices. If a child does not understand the possible results and consequences of bad decisions, how can they make good ones? This is why it is so important to teach your children early on about their medical conditions and to be honest about the consequences of non-adherence. Early education is critical. Children need to learn the facts and details about their medical conditions, including care requirements. Many parents have a really hard time with this because of their own fears and emotions. I remember one dad saying, “I refuse to use the loss of a limb or eyesight or death as a threat to make my (ten-year-old) daughter take care of her diabetes. I don’t want to scare her and ruin her childhood by telling her about these issues.” And, while I understand where he is coming from, this is not a wise decision in the long run. How can his daughter take her diabetes seriously if she doesn’t know how serious it is? We certainly don’t use these issues as a threat, but we do need to make sure our children are educated. And there is a big difference. But parents can understandably get this mixed up. So, like this dad,...

Teach kids early about medical conditions and honest consequences to help them make informed choices; it's crucial for responsible behavior.

Transitions: Honesty Is the Best Policy

. . . Gain Some Cooperation  Up until now, in this series on transitioning from the pediatric to adult medical systems, we have focused on defining transition and why it matters. Now, we are going to start looking at how to start the transition process at as young an age as possible. In fact, the transition to responsibility starts when kids are old enough to spit peas from the high chair!  First, let’s briefly discuss the concept of “control.” Control is a basic human need just like food and water. When humans feel like they have no control, they do some pretty crazy things to get control including things that may be self-destructive. And when children have special medical needs, there are times when they have little or no control over their bodies. So much in their lives can feel out of control! And when they feel out of control, they can act out, misbehave, and cause all kinds of trouble. So, Love and Logic® teaches us to share control as much as possible. 1. The easiest way to share control is with choices. Rather than telling a child what to do and when to do it, use choices. What happens when we say to a child: “Come here and take your medicine!”? Power struggle, arguing and complaining, right? Instead, try: “Would you like to take your pills with apple juice or grape juice?” or “Are you planning to do your medical treatment before or after soccer practice?”...

Promote independence in kids by sharing control through choices and questions to reduce power struggles and foster cooperation.

Transitions: Give Some Independence . . .

 Successful Transitions: Building Hope and Resilience with Encouragement.  In our last couple of blogs in our transition series, we have talked about how to respond to children with medical issues when they make mistakes or poor choices. This week, we'll talk about how to respond to children when they make good choices and decisions particularly where their bodies are concerned.    When children do something well, most adults respond with praise: "Good job!" or "Good girl (or boy)!" While this sounds fine on the surface, praise like this can cause problems.    The challenge is that praise is really an external judgment of the child's performance and can backfire if a child is resistant, doesn't feel like being judged, or doesn't particularly like the parent (or praiser) at the moment. And, of course, false praise almost always leads to disrespect. Children tend to catch on pretty quickly when adults are giving undeserved praise or trying to manipulate with praise or flattery.   So use encouragement instead! Be specific and positive with encouraging phrases when you speak to children. Encourage them to evaluate and think about their choices and the consequences of their actions. Encourage them with questions so that they are proud of themselves for making good choices. This motivates them to continue to take good care of themselves.     Don't say, “I’m glad you listened to me and didn’t go camping with a cold.” Or "Good job staying home...

Encourage kids to self-reflect on good choices, rather than just praising, to build resilience and internal satisfaction.

Transitions: Hope Through Encouragement

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Special Needs
Articles

Assistive Technology That Helps: Tools for Daily Living Independence

Building Independence: A Life Skills Roadmap for Children with Special Needs

Teaching Self-Advocacy: How to Help Your Child Speak Up for Their Needs

Ying / Yang – Balance Your Child With The Outside World

Book Review: I Am A Child Just Like You

Firing the Butler and the Maid . . .

Author Rebecca Woods an Inspiration to All Moms

Gracie Gets An Everlasting Smile

How to Organize the Chaos

Transitions: Honesty Is the Best Policy

Transitions: Give Some Independence . . .

Transitions: Hope Through Encouragement

Find Providers Near You

Special Needs Articles

Assistive Technology That Helps: Tools for Daily Living Independence

Building Independence: A Life Skills Roadmap for Children with Special Needs

Teaching Self-Advocacy: How to Help Your Child Speak Up for Their Needs

Ying / Yang – Balance Your Child With The Outside World

Book Review: I Am A Child Just Like You

Firing the Butler and the Maid . . .

Author Rebecca Woods an Inspiration to All Moms

Gracie Gets An Everlasting Smile

How to Organize the Chaos

Transitions: Honesty Is the Best Policy

Transitions: Give Some Independence . . .

Transitions: Hope Through Encouragement

Find Providers Near You

Special Needs
Articles