School ends in three weeks. For most families, that means relief. For yours, it might mean the loss of the one thing keeping your child regulated: a predictable daily routine. You're not imagining it. Children who thrive on structure don't just prefer it; they depend on it. When the school bell stops ringing at 8:15 and lunch isn't served in the same cafeteria at 11:45, the scaffolding they've built their day around disappears. That loss shows up as meltdowns, sleep disruption, increased anxiety, or withdrawal. Summer doesn't have to mean chaos. You can't replicate school at home, and you shouldn't try. But you can build a framework that gives your child the predictability they need while giving yourself room to breathe. Here's how to set it up before school ends. Start with Anchor Points, Not a Full Schedule. An anchor point is a fixed activity at a consistent time each day. It's not a minute-by-minute itinerary. It's three or four non-negotiable moments that repeat daily so your child knows what to expect. Examples:  Breakfast at 8:00 AM Outdoor time at 10:30 AM Quiet reading or tablet time at 2:00 PM Dinner at 6:00 PM  These don't need to be elaborate. The point is consistency. Your child wakes up knowing breakfast happens at 8:00. They finish breakfast knowing outdoor time comes at 10:30. The space between anchor points can flex, but the anchor itself doesn't move. Pick two to four anchor points this week. Write them down. Commit to...

Build structure and reduce anxiety when school ends with visual schedules, anchor points, and routine-based activities.

The Summer Break Survival Guide for Families with Special Needs Children

You're at the grocery store. Your child is stimming in the checkout line. A woman two carts back is staring. Then whispering to her friend. Then staring again. You see it happening. You don't know what to say. You don't know if you should say anything at all. You finish paying and leave, rattled, replaying it for hours. This is one of those moments where preparation matters because having a script ready means you're making a choice in the moment instead of freezing, not because you owe strangers an explanation. You get to decide: educate, redirect, or walk away. All three are valid. The difference is whether you're acting from clarity or scrambling. Why Scripts Matter More Than You Think. When someone stares or makes a comment, your brain is managing three things at once: your child's immediate needs, your own emotional response, and the social interaction unfolding in real time. That's a lot. A memorized script removes the third variable. You're not improvising under pressure. You're deploying a tool you've already tested. Scripts aren't about being polite to rude people. They're about staying grounded when the situation could easily knock you off balance. The parent who can say "She has autism. She's doing great." and keep moving is not performing for the stranger. They're protecting their own bandwidth. The Three-Second Assessment. Before you say anything, ask yourself: does this person need a response? Not every stare requires engagement. Not every comment is worth your energy. A stranger who makes...

Practical scripts, awareness card strategies, and mindset shifts to help parents navigate intrusive stares and comments with confidence.

What to Say When Strangers Stare at Your Child in Public

Your child sits alone at lunch most days. Birthday party invitations go to other kids. You hear "they're nice to him" but you know that's not the same as friendship. Approximately half of children with autism have significant difficulty forming friendships, and the gap shows up early in school settings where social interaction is constant but rarely structured for success. The question is what specific systems and skills will build them. Real friendships don't happen by proximity. They happen when children have been taught the mechanics of social interaction, when schools create structured opportunities for connection, and when parents actively reinforce those skills at home. This isn't wishful thinking. It's a framework you can start implementing this week. Why "Just Being Nice" Doesn't Build Friendships. Inclusion means your child is in the classroom. Integration means other children are kind to them. Neither of those creates friendship. Friendship requires reciprocal interaction. A child needs to initiate conversation, respond to social cues, navigate conflict, and maintain connection over time. Those are teachable skills, not personality traits. When they're missing, other children default to politeness without depth. The research is clear: children with disabilities who receive explicit social skills instruction show measurable improvement in peer relationships. The gap isn't fixed motivation or inherent likability. It's skill acquisition, and skills can be taught. What Peer Buddy Programs Do. A peer buddy program pairs your child with a typically developing classmate for structured activities during the school day. This isn't a helper relationship where one...

Practical strategies to help children with special needs build real friendships through social skills training and peer programs.

How to Help Your Child Build Real Friendships at School

When I found out about this event I knew I had to share it with my community! I knew you would want to see this. Parenting is not a one-size fits all thing. What works for your friends may not work for you. What works for one child may not be as effective with your other child. It's time to start the shift from a fixed mindset on how we traditionally parent to a growth mindset. We need to take a look at what our individual children need from us to be successful right now. —-> Register now for The Behavioral Shift Summit  What if you were able to learn the tools to help you shift your mindset from being stuck on the problem to being focused on growth? Would you be interested in that?    Imagine being able to tap into the minds of people who are successful parenting experts at no additional cost. What if you could literally extract what you need to help you more easily parent your complex child? Have you ever asked yourself these questions?  Why is it some children manage their behavior and emotions easily and mine are still struggling? Is it possible to leave behind arguing and fighting and learn how to focus on my child's strengths? If any of this resonates with you, keep reading.   —-> Register now for The Behavioral Shift Summit  Knowing that people who have a winning network find greater success in...

Join the free Behavioral Shift Summit to learn strategies for parenting children with behavioral and emotional challenges effectively.

How to raise successful, happy children going through behavioral and emotional challenges!

When a frightening and tragic event such as a the Boston marathon bombing, school shooting, terrorist attack, or a natural disaster occurs, children may understandably have lots of questions and concerns. In some cases, they may experience some anxiety  , and worry that something similar could happen to them or to their loved ones.  Here are some tips to keep in mind when talking to kids about a tragic event or scary news development:   As a general rule, it's a good idea to turn off the TV and radio and not read too much internet news coverage after a tragedy. It's to be expected that headlines will be blaring with updates on a big news event like a school shooting or a natural disaster, and many of the images and conversations can potentially be graphic or emotionally wrenching. Try to find another family activity — such as playing a board game   or reading a book together — to take your child's mind, and your own, off of the news event or at least put it in the background.   Try to minimize your own exposure to the news coverage. Remember that kids are very good at picking up your stress levels and knowing when you feel anxious. Constant updates on the news can also create stress and anxiety in adults, so parents should be mindful about controlling how much they are tuned in to the news. Check in periodically to scan headlines, either...

Discuss tragedies with kids calmly, minimize news exposure, address concerns, and encourage coping strategies.

How to Talk with Kids About Tragic Events in the News

 Dear Developmental Doc:   I am a big 'foodie' and am starting to get excited about planning the menu for a grand Thanksgiving meal for my friends and family. My problem is that my nephew is autistic and is beyond picky about what he puts into his mouth. My sister has already offered not to come if that would make things easier, but I really want our whole family together for the holidays. I recently read about gluten free/casein free diet that could actually help autistic kids recover. Is that true and if so, how could I convert my kitchen so that my nephew might really benefit? Lauren W., Los Angeles, CA.       Dear Lauren, First, let me tell you what a wonderful aunt and sister you are to be thinking of every which way to include your nephew at your Thanksgiving table, expand his emotional experiences and in fact, try to help him overcome his autism. The gluten free/casein free diet (the elimination of wheat and dairy products) is based on the idea that gluten and casein produce substances (peptides) in the intestine that are not fully processed by children with autism and therefore are transmitted to the brain, leading to imbalances in neurotransmitters (Whitely & Shattock, 2002). There are some preliminary data to suggest that elimination of gluten and casein from the diet of autistic children may reduce symptoms (Lucarelli et al. 1995). More recently, Elder et al. (2006) reported positive...

Aunt seeks advice on a gluten/casein-free diet for autistic nephew to include him in Thanksgiving.

"Ask the Developmental Doc" A Thanksgiving Dilemma

  Easy to Love, but Hard to Raise  is a collection of essays from the parents of children with "invisible" but very real disabilities. As these parents share their stories, a sense of empathy and support emerges until the reader comes away feeling that they, too, are not alone. There are other people who have done those good and bad things they never thought they would do in the process of raising their children. They've expressed doubt and screamed out in frustration. These parents have been judged by those who don't understand because they have never faced the challenges of loving a child and yet feeling the need to apologize for them everywhere they go. In addition to the 32 parents who have written about their experiences, 25 experts give insight into topics ranging from ADHD to homeschooling to a child's social IQ in each chapter's question and answer sections. This book is an excellent resource for parents who take comfort in the very real accounts of others who have been “in the trenches.” Those who pick it up take their places in a support network for parents of children with invisible special needs. Below is an essay titled "Dominoes" excerpted from Easy to Love, but Hard to Raise. It was written by one of the book's editors, Adrienne Ehlert Bashista.  "Butthole dickhead asshole poopy head." My eight-year-old son turns over the dominoes. "Asshole son-of-a-bitch my butt is a big buttcrack. I'M DONE!" he yells. "COME PLAY!"...

Book shares real stories from parents of kids with 'invisible' disabilities, offering insights and forming a support network.

Book Excerpt: Easy to Love, but Hard to Raise

Having a gifted child can be frustrating and gratifying in equal measures. Gifted children are often a joy to their parents — bringing home stellar report cards, talking precociously and enthusiastically about a variety of subjects, and receiving loads of praise and recognition from their teachers and other adults. These are the scenarios that often come to mind when one pictures life with a gifted child. If you happen to be the parent of one, however, you know that these children can just as easily struggle as succeed. Meeting the special needs of gifted children can be especially challenging since many times, their needs are under-recognized. Although the people around them, including (at times) their teachers, may not acknowledge their unique needs, it's your job as a parent to ensure that these needs are met, both inside and outside of the classroom.  To help you do so, here are seven strategies you can use to guarantee that your gifted child receives the special attention and resources he or she needs to succeed in school and in life:   1.  Advocate   Whether or not your child has a specially trained teacher or is enrolled in a special education program for gifted children, you still need to make it your responsibility to be your child's number one advocate. Although the teachers and administrators at your child's school have the professional skills necessary to provide your child with the services he needs and is entitled to, they don't...

7 tips for parents of gifted kids: advocate, participate, engage, provide, facilitate, explore, and monitor their unique needs for success.

7 Strategies Every Parent Can Use to Meet the Needs of their Gifted Child

Has your child been identified as a gifted student? If so, chances are, you sometimes feel desperate for advice on how to navigate this journey with your son or daughter. While your friends may look on with awe at your child's achievements and think you have it made, you know the difficulties associated with raising a gifted child. Being a parent of a gifted student comes with its own set of challenges and trials, and it's important to be ready to meet these challenges head on. You'll find the following 10 tips helpful as you navigate the sometimes-murky waters of parenting your gifted child:  1. Have your child assessed.  If you have not already done so, it is important to have your child assessed. Inquire at your child's school about exactly what is involved in assessment, and then begin the process of petitioning for consideration. This may involve getting a teacher's recommendation, submitting samples of school work, and/or taking a written or oral test. There are no nationwide or statewide standards for identifying gifted students, so your school district will have its own standards for what qualifies a child as gifted.   2. Determine whether your child's school has an educational program for gifted students.  Once your child has been through the assessment process, you may have the option of enrolling him in an academic program geared specifically toward gifted students. These programs will vary from school district to school district. Many times, these educational programs...

A guide with 10 tips for nurturing and advocating for gifted children's needs in education and life.

10 Tips for Parents of Gifted Students

A new school year is approaching and for many students with special needs, the anxiety may be growing. As a parent, you begin to notice this pattern each summer and you may not know exactly how to soothe your child other than to say, "You're going to be fine," which is nice, but just not enough. You may notice a general level of agitation, argumentativeness, restlessness, or constant chattiness about school and not wanting to go back. Here are some strategies for you to use to help ease your child's anticipatory anxiety about the first day of school.  Take a field trip.... to school  Everyone loves a field trip, so pack the kids, we're going to school! It may sound silly, but take your child to his school and walk around the playground, the main door, and the door at which your child will wait in the morning. If your child takes the bus, review the routine: the bus stops here, you come out here and walk to over here. If you drive your child to school, show her where you will drop off and the path that she will use to go to her waiting area until the bell rings.  Play on his playground so that your child develops a sense of comfort after a long summer break. If the school building is open, take a walk around the area and hall where your child's class is likely to be.  Even though this may be...

Ease back-to-school anxiety with visits to the school, early shopping, open conversations, playdates, and comfort items.

A Parents Cheat Sheet to the August Jitters

How many times have you asked yourself what more you could do at home for your child's learning challenge, whether it's dyslexia, ADHD, or autism?  What many parents don't realize is that they're in the driver's seat. As a parent, you're fully invested in your child, and that gives you control and power in this situation. Sure, you may not be a teacher or a psychologist, but you are the adult who has the biggest impact on your child's life. And it doesn't matter which neighborhood you live in or what kind of car you drive. There are certain ingredients for success every child needs, and here are five of them – think time, love, and support.   Your child needs to feel safe and secure first.   When you establish a daily routine, you create a safe environment for your child that quiets his or her reptilian brain and nervous system and allows learning to take place. Create a consistent daily rhythm and routine in which you do the same things at the same time each day, including waking, sleeping, eating, and doing homework. Speaking of sleeping, make sure you all get enough sleep; children need at least ten hours of sleep a night, and teenagers may need even more.  Children love routines they can count on, and when they know their limits, their behavior will improve. Consistency is key, so don't allow your child to push the limits. Stay firm, and your child will...

Support kids' learning by providing routine, love, and recognizing their abilities.

5 Things You Can Do at Home to Help Your Child's Learning Challenges

 A while ago I posted about my daughter, Little Miss Adorable's newest words and our struggles in Speech and Language Therapy. ( Little Miss Adorable, Speech, Language and Swear Words  and  Toddler Speech, Language and Self Defense)    Little Miss Adorable has Prader-Willi Syndrome and the very low muscle tone associated with it. All Little Miss Adorable's muscles are floppy, including the muscles used for speech. Little Miss Adorable sees a Speech Language Pathologist (SLP) to learn to speak, as well as an Occupational Therapist (OT) to help Little Miss Adorable develop her muscles.   Normally an OT focuses on fine motor development, but Little Miss Adorable's OT helps with fine and gross motor development. What's the difference between fine and gross motor ability?    You shall see.   Little Miss Adorable is 2 ½ years old and cannot walk. She bum shuffles her way through life, usually holding an armful of baby dolls. She gives them bottles, puts them to bed, changes their diapers and wipes their bums. She holds out the (pretend-used) baby wipe at me and says, "Eeeew! Stinky!" (Don't ask where she learned that one from.)   If I try to support Little Miss Adorable in a standing position by holding her hips, she collapses like a wet noodle after a minute. She clearly has weakness in her gross (full body) muscles.   Little Miss Adorable's fine motor ability is quite good — she can...

A mom shares her daughter's progress in speech and motor skills with Prader-Willi Syndrome, including an unexpected new swear word.

Little Miss Adorable, Occupational Therapy, Speech, Language and MORE Swear Words

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Special Needs
Articles

The Summer Break Survival Guide for Families with Special Needs Children

What to Say When Strangers Stare at Your Child in Public

How to Help Your Child Build Real Friendships at School

How to raise successful, happy children going through behavioral and emotional challenges!

How to Talk with Kids About Tragic Events in the News

"Ask the Developmental Doc" A Thanksgiving Dilemma

Book Excerpt: Easy to Love, but Hard to Raise

7 Strategies Every Parent Can Use to Meet the Needs of their Gifted Child

10 Tips for Parents of Gifted Students

A Parents Cheat Sheet to the August Jitters

5 Things You Can Do at Home to Help Your Child's Learning Challenges

Little Miss Adorable, Occupational Therapy, Speech, Language and MORE Swear Words

Find Providers Near You

Special Needs Articles

The Summer Break Survival Guide for Families with Special Needs Children

What to Say When Strangers Stare at Your Child in Public

How to Help Your Child Build Real Friendships at School

How to raise successful, happy children going through behavioral and emotional challenges!

How to Talk with Kids About Tragic Events in the News

"Ask the Developmental Doc" A Thanksgiving Dilemma

Book Excerpt: Easy to Love, but Hard to Raise

7 Strategies Every Parent Can Use to Meet the Needs of their Gifted Child

10 Tips for Parents of Gifted Students

A Parents Cheat Sheet to the August Jitters

5 Things You Can Do at Home to Help Your Child's Learning Challenges

Little Miss Adorable, Occupational Therapy, Speech, Language and MORE Swear Words

Find Providers Near You

Special Needs
Articles