Understanding Reactive Attachment Disorder — An Overview of One of the More Misunderstood Conditions Affecting Child Welfare A few years ago, I spent a good bit of my time crisscrossing the country lecturing on the topic of Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) — a mental health disorder common among children who were subject to severe abuse and neglect during critical stages of brain development in infancy. I argued then that the misdiagnosing and subsequent counterproductive treatment of the disorder was the single biggest issue confounding the child welfare system. I still think that's true. I don't see any evidence that the situation is improving. In fact, it's reached a crisis point and we need to make this issue more a part of our national dialogue. Reactive Attachment Disorder is caused when an infant doesn't bond properly to its primary caregiver. This basic loss results in ongoing feelings of rage, shame, lack of trust, a morbid fear of attaching to anyone, an inability to understand cause and effect thinking and a compulsive need to control everyone and every situation. Extreme cases are typically caused by chronic neglect in early infancy followed by years of instability — an all-too-common formula for children in foster care. Without proper intervention, these children have little chance of meaningful relationships. In foster care, they often bounce from foster home to foster home as one well-meaning foster parent after another gives up because...

RAD is a misunderstood condition common in abused/neglected kids, leading to severe relational issues, requiring specialized therapy.

Understanding Reactive Attachment Disorder

  Understanding Reactive Attachment Disorder — An Overview of One of the More Misunderstood Conditions Affecting Child Welfare    A few years ago, I spent a good bit of my time crisscrossing the country lecturing on the topic of Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) — a mental health disorder common among children who were subject to severe abuse and neglect during critical stages of brain development in infancy.   I argued then that the misdiagnosing and subsequent counterproductive treatment of the disorder was the single biggest issue confounding the child welfare system.   I still think that's true. I don't see any evidence that the situation is improving. In fact, it's reached a crisis point and we need to make this issue more a part of our national dialogue.   Reactive Attachment Disorder is caused when an infant doesn't bond properly to its primary caregiver. This basic loss results in ongoing feelings of rage, shame, lack of trust, a morbid fear of attaching to anyone, an inability to understand cause and effect thinking and a compulsive need to control everyone and every situation.   Extreme cases are typically caused by chronic neglect in early infancy followed by years of instability — an all-too-common formula for children in foster care.   Without proper intervention, these children have little chance of meaningful relationships. In foster care, they often bounce from foster home to foster home as one well-meaning foster parent after another gives up because...

RAD is a misunderstood condition common in abused/neglected kids, leading to severe relational issues, requiring specialized therapy.

Understanding Reactive Attachment Disorder

... continued from here The Children The root cause of RAD is abandonment trauma or failure to attach. Physical abuse and sexual abuse are much easier to treat than a core, learned belief that one is worthless or bad. Most of the children have been misdiagnosed already and prescribed inappropriate medication that didn't work, and the worst part about this is that they have lost precious time. The younger they are when I get them the more successful our work. Time is of the essence, and bonding is supposed to take place in the very young. Many people think violent children are bad seeds and their parents are victims of these children, not realizing that these violent children suffer excruciating injuries at a very young age. Each of these children is unique and different. Some are arrogant. Most of these children who kill are boys, however we are having an epidemic of "mean girls", too. After the attachment trauma, boys are often disciplined more harshly for their defiance and disrespect of authority. They often engage with other RAD children and begin competing for top dog, and at some point, testosterone kicks in. Some RAD kids are profoundly self-conscious, like most of the mass murdering shooters we recently read about. Some cannot bear to be touched. Some are highly sensitive to certain sounds. All initially refuse eye contact, unless it's on their terms. They have come to believe there is something wrong...

Article explores RAD children's trauma, medication risks, and parent roles in their pathology and potential recovery.

I Am Adam Lanza's Therapist: The Children, The Moms

 ... continued from here       The Children   The root cause of RAD is abandonment trauma or failure to attach. Physical abuse and sexual abuse are much easier to treat than a core, learned belief that one is worthless or bad. Most of the children have been misdiagnosed already and prescribed inappropriate medication that didn't work, and the worst part about this is that they have lost precious time. The younger they are when I get them the more successful our work. Time is of the essence, and bonding is supposed to take place in the very young. Many people think violent children are bad seeds and their parents are victims of these children, not realizing that these violent children suffer excruciating injuries at a very young age. Each of these children is unique and different. Some are arrogant. Most of these children who kill are boys, however we are having an epidemic of "mean girls", too. After the attachment trauma, boys are often disciplined more harshly for their defiance and disrespect of authority. They often engage with other RAD children and begin competing for top dog, and at some point, testosterone kicks in. Some RAD kids are profoundly self-conscious, like most of the mass murdering shooters we recently read about. Some cannot bear to be touched. Some are highly sensitive to certain sounds. All initially refuse eye contact, unless it's on their terms. They have come to believe there is something wrong...

I Am Adam Lanza's Therapist: The Children, The Moms

Many parents of children diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome follow a long, twisting path as they try to find out what is going on with their child. Many children with AS are initially diagnosed with everything from ADHD to mood disorders. When my son Elias was three, my husband and I knew something wasn't quite right, but we had trouble putting our fingers on it. He was meeting his milestones as expected, but he was always different. Looking at photos from this time period, especially ones taken at his daycare, Elias is always sitting apart from the other children, usually with a worried look on his face, or staring in another direction, not at the person taking the photo. He was a temperamental and highly emotional child, crying on the drop of a hat and unable to handle any sort of frustration or change in plans. While this wasn't so troubling when he was three, as he got older, it was clear that emotionally, he was a great deal less mature than his peers. He also had a number of other "quirks," such as his attachment and interest in all things scientific, as well as habits of constant throat clearing, finger picking, humming, and, occasionally, knocking his head into the wall — especially when he was upset about something. It became difficult to do any number of activities with Elias in tow. Grocery shopping in particular was challenging. He would get so upset that...

Parents struggle to diagnose a child's condition, finally confirmed as Asperger's after various misdiagnoses and therapies.

The Road to Diagnosis

 Many parents of children diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome follow a long, twisting path as they try to find out what is going on with their child. Many children with AS are initially diagnosed with everything from ADHD to mood disorders.   When my son Elias was three, my husband and I knew something wasn't quite right, but we had trouble putting our fingers on it. He was meeting his milestones as expected, but he was always different. Looking at photos from this time period, especially ones taken at his daycare, Elias is always sitting apart from the other children, usually with a worried look on his face, or staring in another direction, not at the person taking the photo.   He was a temperamental and highly emotional child, crying on the drop of a hat and unable to handle any sort of frustration or change in plans. While this wasn't so troubling when he was three, as he got older, it was clear that emotionally, he was a great deal less mature than his peers. He also had a number of other "quirks," such as his attachment and interest in all things scientific, as well as habits of constant throat clearing, finger picking, humming, and, occasionally, knocking his head into the wall — especially when he was upset about something.   It became difficult to do any number of activities with Elias in tow. Grocery shopping in particular was challenging. He would get so upset that...

Parents struggle to diagnose a child's condition, finally confirmed as Asperger's after various misdiagnoses and therapies.

Ahh...Reactive Attachment Disorder. It didn't mean much to me when the therapist made that diagnosis of my then 8-year-old daughter. After all, I already knew her problems stemmed from the neglect she had suffered as a baby. From being left in soiled diapers, to eating out of garbage cans, even the act of me showing up with the sheriff's deputies to take custody left a huge impression. She missed her mother — who wouldn't? Every little girl wants (and deserves) a mother who will hold them, coo to them, brush their hair. But I figured with a little extra love we'd be alright. Boy was I wrong. RAD is far deeper than that. You can't "fix" RAD with a little extra love and attention (no matter what the adoption agency tells you). You can't "fix" RAD with charts or rewards or any of the other typical parenting methods that work for most people. In fact, if you are parenting a child with RAD, take everything you've ever learned about parenting, turn it upside down and inside out if you hope to keep your sanity. RAD develops in children who suffer intense emotional or physical trauma at a very young age. Not all children who suffer trauma will develop RAD, but a traumatic childhood is the common factor among children with this diagnosis. In a nutshell, the child learns that others are not to be trusted. They are there to cause pain, and if the...

Parent describes the challenges of raising a daughter with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), a condition rooted in early trauma.

Reactive Attachment Disorder

 Ahh...Reactive Attachment Disorder. It didn't mean much to me when the therapist made that diagnosis of my then 8-year-old daughter. After all, I already knew her problems stemmed from the neglect she had suffered as a baby. From being left in soiled diapers, to eating out of garbage cans, even the act of me showing up with the sheriff's deputies to take custody left a huge impression. She missed her mother — who wouldn't? Every little girl wants (and deserves) a mother who will hold them, coo to them, brush their hair. But I figured with a little extra love we'd be alright.   Boy was I wrong. RAD is far deeper than that. You can't "fix" RAD with a little extra love and attention (no matter what the adoption agency tells you). You can't "fix" RAD with charts or rewards or any of the other typical parenting methods that work for most people. In fact, if you are parenting a child with RAD, take everything you've ever learned about parenting, turn it upside down and inside out if you hope to keep your sanity.    RAD develops in children who suffer intense emotional or physical trauma at a very young age. Not all children who suffer trauma will develop RAD, but a traumatic childhood is the common factor among children with this diagnosis. In a nutshell, the child learns that others are not to be trusted. They are there to cause pain, and if the...

Parent describes the challenges of raising a daughter with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), a condition rooted in early trauma.

Reactive Attachment Disorder

When it comes to RAD, 8 seems to be our "magic number." My daughter was 8 years old when she was diagnosed. It took 8 years before I could honestly say she seems to be healing. We've gone through 8 therapists. But most taxing of all, we've survived 8 CPS investigations. Yes, 8...EIGHT!! It's stressful enough to have CPS at your door even once, but by the eighth time you get pretty used to it. It's not that we're bad parents either — *every* *single* *report* was deemed to be untrue. In fact, with CPS the default stance seems to be "guilty until proven innocent," but by the end of our eighth investigation our record was flagged with "innocent until proven guilty." So how did we get ourselves into such a mess? Welcome to Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)!! Take RAD, mix in type-1 diabetes (insulin dependent), add a bunch of well-meaning adults, and you have a recipe for CPS soup. Children with RAD are masters at triangulating the adults in their lives. They thrive on controlling the situation (no matter what it is), and learn from an early age how to manipulate to get what they believe they need. If that means turning the rest of the world against the very people that love them, that's ok — it's all about getting their needs met their way. You can't fault them for it either — it's how their brain is wired from...

Family with a RAD daughter faced 8 CPS probes, all false. Advice: keep records for CPS; understand RAD-related manipulation.

The Magic Number 8

 When it comes to RAD, 8 seems to be our "magic number." My daughter was 8 years old when she was diagnosed. It took 8 years before I could honestly say she seems to be healing. We've gone through 8 therapists. But most taxing of all, we've survived 8 CPS investigations.   Yes, 8...EIGHT!! It's stressful enough to have CPS at your door even once, but by the eighth time you get pretty used to it. It's not that we're bad parents either — *every* *single* *report* was deemed to be untrue. In fact, with CPS the default stance seems to be "guilty until proven innocent," but by the end of our eighth investigation our record was flagged with "innocent until proven guilty."    So how did we get ourselves into such a mess?   Welcome to Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)!! Take RAD, mix in type-1 diabetes (insulin dependent), add a bunch of well-meaning adults, and you have a recipe for CPS soup. Children with RAD are masters at triangulating the adults in their lives. They thrive on controlling the situation (no matter what it is), and learn from an early age how to manipulate to get what they believe they need. If that means turning the rest of the world against the very people that love them, that's ok — it's all about getting their needs met their way. You can't fault them for it either — it's how their brain is wired from...

When a child has autism, parents have many questions. I am often asked what is the difference between DIR/Floor Time and ABA (Applied Behavioral Analysis). I had the opportunity to address this question at length with Dr. Mitchell Taubman, Ph.D., author of "Teaching Social Skills That Change Lives: Developing Meaningful Relationships in Early Childhood Adolescence."Dr. Hess: What do you mean when you discuss teaching social skills for children and adolescents impacted by autism utilizing "contemporary ABA."Dr. Taubman: There are many variations to ABA, but "contemporary ABA" speaks to teaching children/adolescents the concept of learning "how to learn." In contrast to DIR/Floor Time, which has origins in the psychoanalytic theories of attachment and development, ABA looks at autism as having difficulties in learning. ABA approaches teaching social skills by focusing on several elements, including social awareness, social communication, social interaction, social learning and social relatedness. Within these broad categories, elements are explored, such as perspective taking, initiating interactions and responsiveness, social imitation and joint attention.Dr. Hess: These are actually very similar skill sets that would be addressed using DIR/Floor Time. Specifically, DIR/Floor Time would address these concerns by creating semi-structured problem-solving opportunities that focus on the child's current developmental capacity, underlying neurological differences that might be interfering with optimum development, and the child's relational style to know how to pull that child into a shared emotional experience. In regards to social skills, a theme might be addressed, for example, bullying at school, and then the group would examine the emotions of...

Experts discuss ABA vs. DIR/Floor Time for teaching social skills to children with autism.

Social Skills Groups for Children and Teens with Autism

When a child has autism, parents have many questions. I am often asked what is the difference between DIR/Floor Time and ABA (Applied Behavioral Analysis). I had the opportunity to address this question at length with Dr. Mitchell Taubman, Ph.D., author of "Teaching Social Skills That Change Lives: Developing Meaningful Relationships in Early Childhood Adolescence."Dr. Hess: What do you mean when you discuss teaching social skills for children and adolescents impacted by autism utilizing "contemporary ABA."Dr. Taubman: There are many variations to ABA, but "contemporary ABA" speaks to teaching children/adolescents the concept of learning "how to learn." In contrast to DIR/Floor Time, which has origins in the psychoanalytic theories of attachment and development, ABA looks at autism as having difficulties in learning. ABA approaches teaching social skills by focusing on several elements, including social awareness, social communication, social interaction, social learning and social relatedness. Within these broad categories, elements are explored, such as perspective taking, initiating interactions and responsiveness, social imitation and joint attention.Dr. Hess: These are actually very similar skill sets that would be addressed using DIR/Floor Time. Specifically, DIR/Floor Time would address these concerns by creating semi-structured problem-solving opportunities that focus on the child's current developmental capacity, underlying neurological differences that might be interfering with optimum development, and the child's relational style to know how to pull that child into a shared emotional experience. In regards to social skills, a theme might be addressed, for example, bullying at school, and then the group would examine the emotions of...

Your child wants to paint. The brush keeps slipping. Their fingers don't close around the handle the way the manufacturer assumed they would. What you need isn't willpower or practice. You need a different handle. Adaptive art supplies exist because standard tools were designed for a narrow range of hand strength, fine motor control, and sensory tolerance. When those assumptions don't match your child's body, the tool becomes the barrier. Adaptive tools redesign that assumption. This guide covers what's available, what disabilities each category serves, where to buy, and how to adapt tools yourself when the commercial version doesn't exist or costs too much. What Makes a Tool "Adaptive". An adaptive art tool changes one or more of these variables: Grip diameter: thicker handles for weak grips or reduced dexterity Grip texture: foam, rubber, or ridged surfaces for better traction Weight: lighter tools for low muscle tone, weighted tools for tremor or ataxia Attachment method: straps, cuffs, or mounts that bypass the need to hold Activation force: scissors, staplers, and hole punches that require less strength Sensory profile: non-toxic, scent-free, or mess-contained materials for sensory sensitivities A paintbrush with a foam grip is adaptive. A marker mounted in a universal cuff is adaptive. Mess-free finger paint in a sealed pouch is adaptive. The common thread: the tool meets the child where they are. Universal Cuffs and Hand Straps. What they do: Hold a tool against the palm or back of the...

Adaptive art tools turn grip weakness and sensory sensitivity from barriers into design problems with solutions you can buy or build today.

Adaptive Art Supplies and Tools for Children with Disabilities: A Complete Guide

Your child wants to paint. The brush keeps slipping. Their fingers don't close around the handle the way the manufacturer assumed they would. What you need isn't willpower or practice. You need a different handle. Adaptive art supplies exist because standard tools were designed for a narrow range of hand strength, fine motor control, and sensory tolerance. When those assumptions don't match your child's body, the tool becomes the barrier. Adaptive tools redesign that assumption. This guide covers what's available, what disabilities each category serves, where to buy, and how to adapt tools yourself when the commercial version doesn't exist or costs too much. What Makes a Tool "Adaptive". An adaptive art tool changes one or more of these variables:   Grip diameter: thicker handles for weak grips or reduced dexterity  Grip texture: foam, rubber, or ridged surfaces for better traction  Weight: lighter tools for low muscle tone, weighted tools for tremor or ataxia  Attachment method: straps, cuffs, or mounts that bypass the need to hold  Activation force: scissors, staplers, and hole punches that require less strength  Sensory profile: non-toxic, scent-free, or mess-contained materials for sensory sensitivities  A paintbrush with a foam grip is adaptive. A marker mounted in a universal cuff is adaptive. Mess-free finger paint in a sealed pouch is adaptive. The common thread: the tool meets the child where they are. Universal Cuffs and Hand Straps.  What they do: Hold a tool against the palm or back of the...

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Understanding Reactive Attachment Disorder

I Am Adam Lanza's Therapist: The Children, The Moms

The Road to Diagnosis

Reactive Attachment Disorder

The Magic Number 8

Social Skills Groups for Children and Teens with Autism

Adaptive Art Supplies and Tools for Children with Disabilities: A Complete Guide

Find Providers Near You

Special Needs Articles

Understanding Reactive Attachment Disorder

I Am Adam Lanza's Therapist: The Children, The Moms

The Road to Diagnosis

Reactive Attachment Disorder

The Magic Number 8

Social Skills Groups for Children and Teens with Autism

Adaptive Art Supplies and Tools for Children with Disabilities: A Complete Guide

Find Providers Near You

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