Hazardous Parenting: How to Regain and Maintain Your Life While Raising a Child with Dis-Regulated Behaviours and Behavior Disorders Hazardous Parenting is a term I use to describe and define the parenting experience of raising children who have serious and multiple behaviour disorders. This term is not a negative reflection of the children nor does it indicate a lack of love in the parent/child relationship. Indeed, most parents of children with behaviour disorders or dis-regulated behaviors dedicate their lives to giving their child every opportunity to reach their full potential. As well, the behaviour disorders do not negate the many positive attributes that the children or youth possess and the many parts of their personality that are brave, funny, happy, creative, and just plain wonderful. And, to be clear, not all children who have a behaviour disorder create chronic stress in those who live with them. But for those who are finding themselves overwhelmed by stress, then this article will help you acknowledge your stress and begin your recovery. WHAT IS THE LONG TERM IMPACT OF HAZARDOUS PARENTING? As the parent of a child with challenges you may have experiences stress from any of the following: – trying to find, afford, and access all available services – responding to regular crisis calls from the school and others when your child cannot comply with the agenda –...

Hazardous Parenting advises on managing stress when raising children with behavior disorders, emphasizing self-care and setting boundaries.

Hazardous Parenting

  Hazardous Parenting:     How to Regain and Maintain Your Life While Raising a Child with Dis-Regulated Behaviours and Behavior Disorders     Hazardous Parenting is a term I use to describe and define the parenting experience of raising children who have serious and multiple behaviour disorders. This term is not a negative reflection of the children nor does it indicate a lack of love in the parent/child relationship. Indeed, most parents of children with behaviour disorders or dis-regulated behaviors dedicate their lives to giving their child every opportunity to reach their full potential. As well, the behaviour disorders do not negate the many positive attributes that the children or youth possess and the many parts of their personality that are brave, funny, happy, creative, and just plain wonderful. And, to be clear, not all children who have a behaviour disorder create chronic stress in those who live with them. But for those who are finding themselves overwhelmed by stress, then this article will help you acknowledge your stress and begin your recovery.      WHAT IS THE LONG TERM IMPACT OF HAZARDOUS PARENTING?    As the parent of a child with challenges you may have experiences stress from any of the following:   – trying to find, afford, and access all available services   – responding to regular crisis calls from the school and others when your child cannot comply with the agenda   –...

Hazardous Parenting advises on managing stress when raising children with behavior disorders, emphasizing self-care and setting boundaries.

You've tried graduated extinction. You've tried the chair method. You've tried every variation of cry-it-out the internet could offer, and your child still doesn't sleep. The problem isn't your consistency or your commitment. The problem is the method itself. Standard sleep training assumes a child can self-soothe but chooses not to. For many children with developmental differences, that assumption is wrong. A child who can't regulate sensory input can't downregulate their nervous system on command. It's not defiance. It's neurology. Why Standard Sleep Training Doesn't Work. Cry-it-out and graduated extinction work by conditioning a child to fall asleep independently. The child learns that crying won't bring a parent, so they stop crying and eventually fall asleep. For typically developing children, this works because they can self-soothe once they stop protesting. For children with autism, sensory processing differences, or other developmental disabilities, the underlying cause of sleep disruption is often neurological, not behavioral. The child isn't refusing to sleep. They're dysregulated. Their nervous system can't shift from alert to calm without external support. When the method doesn't address the root cause, it fails. And when it fails, parents blame themselves. That's the wrong target. Sensory Regulation Comes First. Before any behavioral sleep intervention can work, the sensory environment needs to support nervous system downregulation. That means addressing the inputs the child's brain is processing while trying to fall asleep. Weighted blankets provide deep pressure input, which activates the parasympathetic nervous system. For children who seek pressure or struggle to settle...

Why standard sleep training fails for children with developmental differences and what evidence-based behavioral strategies work instead.

Sleep Solutions for Young Children with Developmental Differences

You've tried graduated extinction. You've tried the chair method. You've tried every variation of cry-it-out the internet could offer, and your child still doesn't sleep. The problem isn't your consistency or your commitment. The problem is the method itself. Standard sleep training assumes a child can self-soothe but chooses not to. For many children with developmental differences, that assumption is wrong. A child who can't regulate sensory input can't downregulate their nervous system on command. It's not defiance. It's neurology. Why Standard Sleep Training Doesn't Work. Cry-it-out and graduated extinction work by conditioning a child to fall asleep independently. The child learns that crying won't bring a parent, so they stop crying and eventually fall asleep. For typically developing children, this works because they can self-soothe once they stop protesting. For children with autism, sensory processing differences, or other developmental disabilities, the underlying cause of sleep disruption is often neurological, not behavioral. The child isn't refusing to sleep. They're dysregulated. Their nervous system can't shift from alert to calm without external support. When the method doesn't address the root cause, it fails. And when it fails, parents blame themselves. That's the wrong target. Sensory Regulation Comes First. Before any behavioral sleep intervention can work, the sensory environment needs to support nervous system downregulation. That means addressing the inputs the child's brain is processing while trying to fall asleep.  Weighted blankets provide deep pressure input, which activates the parasympathetic nervous system. For children who seek pressure or struggle to settle...

Why standard sleep training fails for children with developmental differences and what evidence-based behavioral strategies work instead.

With the surge of gluten-free and casein-free (dairy-free) diets, many parents might have difficulty ensuring their children are still getting adequate nutrition. Many of us know milk products are perhaps the easiest and most well known way to get calcium, which is important for growing bones and teeth. However, there are alternate sources of calcium that will likely fit into your child's modified diet. Why Do We Need Calcium? Calcium helps growing bodies build strong bones, regulates the heart's rhythm, and helps send chemical messages through nerves. The body gets calcium in two ways; through foods you ingest or by taking it from the bones. Vitamin D is also necessary for the body to absorb calcium and strengthen bones. Muscle, nerve, and immune system function also relies on Vitamin D. The body produces Vitamin D naturally when exposed to sunlight. Foods such as fatty fish (salmon, mackerel, and tuna) are high in Vitamin D, and products like milk and other beverages are usually fortified with Vitamin D because they do not have much of it naturally. Lack of calcium and Vitamin D can cause rickets, or a condition of soft bones, and it can increase the risk of osteoporosis. One easy way to ensure your child gets Vitamin D is to let them get fresh air and sunlight on a daily basis. You can also make sure they are getting calcium and Vitamin D through their diet. ...

Explore non-dairy calcium sources such as leafy greens, nuts, and fortified milk alternatives, along with sunlight for Vitamin D.

How to Get Calcium without Milk

 With the surge of gluten-free and casein-free (dairy-free) diets, many parents might have difficulty ensuring their children are still getting adequate nutrition. Many of us know milk products are perhaps the easiest and most well known way to get calcium, which is important for growing bones and teeth. However, there are alternate sources of calcium that will likely fit into your child's modified diet.     Why Do We Need Calcium?    Calcium helps growing bodies build strong bones, regulates the heart's rhythm, and helps send chemical messages through nerves. The body gets calcium in two ways; through foods you ingest or by taking it from the bones. Vitamin D is also necessary for the body to absorb calcium and strengthen bones. Muscle, nerve, and immune system function also relies on Vitamin D. The body produces Vitamin D naturally when exposed to sunlight. Foods such as fatty fish (salmon, mackerel, and tuna) are high in Vitamin D, and products like milk and other beverages are usually fortified with Vitamin D because they do not have much of it naturally.    Lack of calcium and Vitamin D can cause rickets, or a condition of soft bones, and it can increase the risk of osteoporosis. One easy way to ensure your child gets Vitamin D is to let them get fresh air and sunlight on a daily basis. You can also make sure they are getting calcium and Vitamin D through their diet.  ...

The hit ABC Family show Bunheads is popular with viewers of all ages. Recently Bailey Buntain who plays Ginny, one of the four main "bunheads" on the show, spoke with a few journalists. I asked Bailey about the combination of ballet and jazz dance numbers in the show and whether she thought the ballet was more comfortable for her. "I actually was trained equally; my core training was in ballet, jazz, and tap," she told me. "Much like Ginny, my body type — I'm really short — always lent itself better to the jazz and tap style so I find all the dances pretty equally challenging. I've had my favorite that's for sure. My favorite dance number that we ever dis is actually in the finale, and so I'm so excited to see how that one turns out." The young actors have to play out their dramatic storylines — and often some humorous ones as well — and I was curious whether she had any input into her character's actions. She replied, "I don't really have a big say in it and I don't know if I would want a say in it. I don't know if I want that responsibility! I love everything that the writers do and it surprises me, the things that they do, but I always understand the series of events that lead to it." When asked whether she and her character are similar, Bailey surprised me a little. "I am similar to Ginny," she confided....

Bailey Buntain from 'Bunheads' discussed her dance background, character similarities, and off-set friendships with co-stars.

Bailey Buntain Talks about Bunheads

The hit ABC Family show Bunheads is popular with viewers of all ages. Recently Bailey Buntain who plays Ginny, one of the four main "bunheads" on the show, spoke with a few journalists. I asked Bailey about the combination of ballet and jazz dance numbers in the show and whether she thought the ballet was more comfortable for her. "I actually was trained equally; my core training was in ballet, jazz, and tap," she told me. "Much like Ginny, my body type — I'm really short — always lent itself better to the jazz and tap style so I find all the dances pretty equally challenging. I've had my favorite that's for sure. My favorite dance number that we ever dis is actually in the finale, and so I'm so excited to see how that one turns out." The young actors have to play out their dramatic storylines — and often some humorous ones as well — and I was curious whether she had any input into her character's actions. She replied, "I don't really have a big say in it and I don't know if I would want a say in it. I don't know if I want that responsibility! I love everything that the writers do and it surprises me, the things that they do, but I always understand the series of events that lead to it." When asked whether she and her character are similar, Bailey surprised me a little. "I am similar to Ginny," she confided....

Making decisions for others is never easy. In fact, it's probably one of the hardest things one can do for someone, especially if that person is their child. When a family is coping with mental illness and intense special needs and a parent is charged with not only choosing interventions to support what a child's life will look like as they grow but also what their adulthood will look like long after they themselves are deceased, the challenge becomes overwhelming. The alternative to not making the decision to support the child and instead controlling them dis-empowers the child who might then lash out and become more oppositional and self destructive the more a parent insists on them conforming. The emotional weight of making choices for someone else can cause a tremendous amount of anxiety and stress not to mention an underlying feeling of dread. Perhaps the hardest part about making the decision about what your child's future will look like is accepting that it isn't going to even slightly resemble what you dreamed of when you fantasized about their life. If you are like me, that included typical milestones like dance recitals, graduation ceremonies, walking the wedding aisle and holding grandbabies. Often when our children are struggling to keep their heads above water, maintain appropriate behaviors and perform in socially acceptable ways, there are rarely those extraordinary ordinary moments like congratulating them on their first job or the joys of helping them to decorate their first apartment....

Parents face immense challenges planning a future for children with special needs, ensuring their best interests amidst uncertainty.

Designing a Future for a Child with Special Needs

Making decisions for others is never easy. In fact, it's probably one of the hardest things one can do for someone, especially if that person is their child. When a family is coping with mental illness and intense special needs and a parent is charged with not only choosing interventions to support what a child's life will look like as they grow but also what their adulthood will look like long after they themselves are deceased, the challenge becomes overwhelming. The alternative to not making the decision to support the child and instead controlling them dis-empowers the child who might then lash out and become more oppositional and self destructive the more a parent insists on them conforming.  The emotional weight of making choices for someone else can cause a tremendous amount of anxiety and stress not to mention an underlying feeling of dread.  Perhaps the hardest part about making the decision about what your child's future will look like is accepting that it isn't going to even slightly resemble what you dreamed of when you fantasized about their life. If you are like me, that included typical milestones like dance recitals, graduation ceremonies, walking the wedding aisle and holding grandbabies.  Often when our children are struggling to keep their heads above water, maintain appropriate behaviors and perform in socially acceptable ways, there are rarely those extraordinary ordinary moments like congratulating them on their first job or the joys of helping them to decorate their first apartment....

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Special Needs
Articles

Hazardous Parenting

Sleep Solutions for Young Children with Developmental Differences

How to Get Calcium without Milk

Bailey Buntain Talks about Bunheads

Designing a Future for a Child with Special Needs

Find Providers Near You

Special Needs Articles

Hazardous Parenting

Sleep Solutions for Young Children with Developmental Differences

How to Get Calcium without Milk

Bailey Buntain Talks about Bunheads

Designing a Future for a Child with Special Needs

Find Providers Near You

Special Needs
Articles