Aligning The Mis-aligned... Understanding your Parenting Style and Aligning yourself as Parents Every person enters into the ever so bumpy journey of parenthood with an idea of what it will be like based on childhood experiences and presently held values. When you take that idea and multiply it by two, you can end up with either alignment or misalignment. That alignment is also known as the co-parenting alliance. That misalignment can be downright ugly! Let me begin by defining the co-parenting alliance — it's how parents split up the responsibility of caring for their children and home. In some homes, moms tend to the inside of the house, homework, doctor's visits, and play-dates, while dads tend to the outside of the house, sports, and extra-curricular activities. Parents are aligned when they talk about and agree upon household rules, expectations for behavior, school performance or consequences. I'm not calling it the parenting alliance, but the co-parenting alliance because of the need for there to be an agreed upon balance. It doesn't have to be equal. One parent may become the breadwinner and a handle a few household and child related matters, while the other parent handles the majority of the household and child related matters. And that's okay. Let's review the 4 parenting styles: authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and uninvolved. They differ on 4 variables: disciplinary strategies, warmth and nurturance, communication styles, and expectations for maturity and control. Authoritarian parenting — this is the parenting style that most...

Explore parenting styles & co-parenting tips for alignment in responsibilities, communication, and child-rearing for family harmony.

Aligning the Mis-aligned

 Aligning The Mis-aligned... Understanding your Parenting Style and Aligning yourself as Parents  Every person enters into the ever so bumpy journey of parenthood with an idea of what it will be like based on childhood experiences and presently held values. When you take that idea and multiply it by two, you can end up with either alignment or misalignment. That alignment is also known as the co-parenting alliance. That misalignment can be downright ugly! Let me begin by defining the co-parenting alliance — it's how parents split up the responsibility of caring for their children and home. In some homes, moms tend to the inside of the house, homework, doctor's visits, and play-dates, while dads tend to the outside of the house, sports, and extra-curricular activities. Parents are aligned when they talk about and agree upon household rules, expectations for behavior, school performance or consequences. I'm not calling it the parenting alliance, but the co-parenting alliance because of the need for there to be an agreed upon balance. It doesn't have to be equal. One parent may become the breadwinner and a handle a few household and child related matters, while the other parent handles the majority of the household and child related matters. And that's okay. Let's review the 4 parenting styles: authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and uninvolved. They differ on 4 variables: disciplinary strategies, warmth and nurturance, communication styles, and expectations for maturity and control.   Authoritarian parenting — this is the parenting style that most...

Explore parenting styles & co-parenting tips for alignment in responsibilities, communication, and child-rearing for family harmony.

You take 30 minutes to sit down with coffee and a book. Within five minutes, the guilt arrives. Your child needs you, there's paperwork to file, therapy schedules to coordinate. What are you doing sitting here? This isn't the same guilt that shows up when you forget to pack a lunch or miss a school event. It's heavier. It doesn't let go. Caregiver guilt in special needs parenting is qualitatively different from the guilt most parents experience. It's intensified by grief cycles, systemic barriers that make everything harder than it should be, and the reality that caregiving doesn't stop at bedtime. Understanding why it feels different, and having concrete techniques to work with it, can change how you carry it. Why This Guilt Is Different. Typical parental guilt usually has clear edges. You forgot the permission slip. You snapped when you shouldn't have. You fix it, apologize, move on. Caregiver guilt doesn't work that way. It's ambient. It shows up when you're doing everything right and still feel like you're failing. When you take time for yourself and immediately wonder if your child is okay without you. When you feel relief at a moment of quiet and then feel guilty for feeling relieved. This guilt has roots in three things that don't apply to most parenting situations: Ongoing grief cycles. Many parents of children with disabilities cycle through grief that doesn't resolve in a linear way. You grieve the life you thought you'd have, the milestones that won't arrive...

Why caregiver guilt feels different, and evidence-based techniques to process it when it shows up.

When Guilt Takes Over: A Parent's Guide to Processing the Hard Emotions

You take 30 minutes to sit down with coffee and a book. Within five minutes, the guilt arrives. Your child needs you, there's paperwork to file, therapy schedules to coordinate. What are you doing sitting here? This isn't the same guilt that shows up when you forget to pack a lunch or miss a school event. It's heavier. It doesn't let go. Caregiver guilt in special needs parenting is qualitatively different from the guilt most parents experience. It's intensified by grief cycles, systemic barriers that make everything harder than it should be, and the reality that caregiving doesn't stop at bedtime. Understanding why it feels different, and having concrete techniques to work with it, can change how you carry it. Why This Guilt Is Different. Typical parental guilt usually has clear edges. You forgot the permission slip. You snapped when you shouldn't have. You fix it, apologize, move on. Caregiver guilt doesn't work that way. It's ambient. It shows up when you're doing everything right and still feel like you're failing. When you take time for yourself and immediately wonder if your child is okay without you. When you feel relief at a moment of quiet and then feel guilty for feeling relieved. This guilt has roots in three things that don't apply to most parenting situations:  Ongoing grief cycles. Many parents of children with disabilities cycle through grief that doesn't resolve in a linear way. You grieve the life you thought you'd have, the milestones that won't arrive...

Your child was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes three weeks ago. You've learned carb counts, correction factors, and how to change pump sites in the dark. Now the school wants to meet about accommodations, and you're supposed to know what to ask for. A 504 plan is the legal framework that protects your child's access to the medical care they need during the school day. It's named for Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973, which prohibits disability discrimination in programs receiving federal funding. Every public school in the country is covered. The plan puts specific accommodations in writing so they can't be walked back when staff change or budgets get tight. Here's what needs to be in it, what schools sometimes resist, and how to push back when they do. What a 504 Plan for Diabetes Covers. A 504 plan for diabetes isn't about classroom modifications. It's about medical management during school hours. Your child needs access to blood glucose monitoring, insulin administration, carbohydrate intake, and emergency treatment, without delay, without permission, and without penalty. The plan should specify: Who provides diabetes care (school nurse, trained staff, or the student themselves) Where supplies are stored and care happens (nurse's office, classroom, gym, bus) When blood glucose checks occur (scheduled and as needed) What accommodations protect learning when diabetes management interrupts class How emergencies are handled (glucagon administration, when to call 911) Without specifics, you get vague reassurances. "We'll take care of...

Build a 504 plan that keeps your child with diabetes safe at school, with specific accommodations and language to use.

Your Child's 504 Plan for Diabetes: A Complete Guide for School Management

Your child was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes three weeks ago. You've learned carb counts, correction factors, and how to change pump sites in the dark. Now the school wants to meet about accommodations, and you're supposed to know what to ask for. A 504 plan is the legal framework that protects your child's access to the medical care they need during the school day. It's named for Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973, which prohibits disability discrimination in programs receiving federal funding. Every public school in the country is covered. The plan puts specific accommodations in writing so they can't be walked back when staff change or budgets get tight. Here's what needs to be in it, what schools sometimes resist, and how to push back when they do. What a 504 Plan for Diabetes Covers. A 504 plan for diabetes isn't about classroom modifications. It's about medical management during school hours. Your child needs access to blood glucose monitoring, insulin administration, carbohydrate intake, and emergency treatment, without delay, without permission, and without penalty. The plan should specify:   Who provides diabetes care (school nurse, trained staff, or the student themselves)  Where supplies are stored and care happens (nurse's office, classroom, gym, bus)  When blood glucose checks occur (scheduled and as needed)  What accommodations protect learning when diabetes management interrupts class  How emergencies are handled (glucagon administration, when to call 911)  Without specifics, you get vague reassurances. "We'll take care of...

You see a headline about a promising autism drug entering Phase 2 trials, and you wonder if this could be the treatment your child needs. But Phase 2 doesn't mean it's available next month. It doesn't even mean it'll make it to market. Understanding where a drug sits in the development pipeline matters when you're making decisions about your child's care, evaluating whether to join a trial, or trying to gauge how long you might be waiting. The path from laboratory discovery to FDA approval spans 12 to 15 years on average. That timeline holds across conditions, though rare disease drugs can move faster under specific circumstances. The process isn't arbitrary. Each stage answers a specific question about whether a drug is safe enough and effective enough to use in humans. Here's how it works. Preclinical Research: Before Human Testing Begins. Before a drug is tested in people, it goes through preclinical research. This happens in the lab and in animal models. Researchers are answering basic questions: Does this compound do what we think it does biologically? What dose range seems to work? What are the red flags for toxicity? Preclinical work typically takes three to six years. It's not regulated by the FDA yet, and there's no formal review process at this stage, but companies can't skip it. You need animal safety data to file an Investigational New Drug (IND) application, which is the legal permission to begin testing in humans. Most compounds fail here. They don't work as...

The 12-15 year drug approval timeline from preclinical research to FDA review, explained for families navigating treatment options.

The Drug Development Pipeline for Special Needs: What Parents Need to Know About How Treatments Go from Lab to FDA Approval

You see a headline about a promising autism drug entering Phase 2 trials, and you wonder if this could be the treatment your child needs. But Phase 2 doesn't mean it's available next month. It doesn't even mean it'll make it to market. Understanding where a drug sits in the development pipeline matters when you're making decisions about your child's care, evaluating whether to join a trial, or trying to gauge how long you might be waiting. The path from laboratory discovery to FDA approval spans 12 to 15 years on average. That timeline holds across conditions, though rare disease drugs can move faster under specific circumstances. The process isn't arbitrary. Each stage answers a specific question about whether a drug is safe enough and effective enough to use in humans. Here's how it works. Preclinical Research: Before Human Testing Begins. Before a drug is tested in people, it goes through preclinical research. This happens in the lab and in animal models. Researchers are answering basic questions: Does this compound do what we think it does biologically? What dose range seems to work? What are the red flags for toxicity? Preclinical work typically takes three to six years. It's not regulated by the FDA yet, and there's no formal review process at this stage, but companies can't skip it. You need animal safety data to file an Investigational New Drug (IND) application, which is the legal permission to begin testing in humans. Most compounds fail here. They don't work as...

You've known for weeks that you need to ask your landlord for a change. Maybe it's a designated parking spot closer to your unit, or permission to install grab bars in the bathroom, or an exception to the no-pets policy for your emotional support animal. The Fair Housing Act gives you the right to request reasonable accommodations, but knowing you have the right doesn't make the request feel any less daunting. Here's what happens when you make the request: the documentation you need, the timeline your landlord is working within, and what to do if they say no. What Counts as a Reasonable Accommodation. A reasonable accommodation is a change to a rule, policy, or practice that allows a person with a disability to use and enjoy their housing. It's not a physical modification to the dwelling itself. Physical changes to the unit are called reasonable modifications, and those follow a different process. Accommodations are about how the housing operates. Common examples include: Assigning a specific parking spot closer to your unit Waiving a no-pets policy for an assistance or emotional support animal Allowing a live-in caregiver even if the lease restricts additional occupants Providing notices or lease documents in an accessible format Permitting a service or support provider to enter the building outside standard visiting hours The accommodation must be reasonable, meaning it doesn't create an undue financial or administrative burden for the landlord and doesn't fundamentally alter the nature of the housing. Requests that are expensive,...

Step-by-step guide to requesting reasonable accommodations from landlords—letters, documentation, timelines, and what to do if denied.

How to Request a Reasonable Accommodation from Your Landlord: A Step-by-Step Guide

You've known for weeks that you need to ask your landlord for a change. Maybe it's a designated parking spot closer to your unit, or permission to install grab bars in the bathroom, or an exception to the no-pets policy for your emotional support animal. The Fair Housing Act gives you the right to request reasonable accommodations, but knowing you have the right doesn't make the request feel any less daunting. Here's what happens when you make the request: the documentation you need, the timeline your landlord is working within, and what to do if they say no. What Counts as a Reasonable Accommodation. A reasonable accommodation is a change to a rule, policy, or practice that allows a person with a disability to use and enjoy their housing. It's not a physical modification to the dwelling itself. Physical changes to the unit are called reasonable modifications, and those follow a different process. Accommodations are about how the housing operates. Common examples include:  Assigning a specific parking spot closer to your unit Waiving a no-pets policy for an assistance or emotional support animal Allowing a live-in caregiver even if the lease restricts additional occupants Providing notices or lease documents in an accessible format Permitting a service or support provider to enter the building outside standard visiting hours  The accommodation must be reasonable, meaning it doesn't create an undue financial or administrative burden for the landlord and doesn't fundamentally alter the nature of the housing. Requests that are expensive,...

Dr. Gil Tippy, co-author of Respecting Autism and a founder of the Rebecca School in New York, talks to SpecialNeeds.com about his book and the philosphies that the school was built upon, many of them Dr. Greenspan’s legacies. SN: Dr. Tippy, congratulations on the book. I very much enjoyed the way you and Dr. Greenspan make autism accessible to those who do not necessarily understand it or maybe have not had very many experiences with people on the spectrum. I wanted to ask you about the title, Respecting Autism. Was your and Dr. Greenspan's goal in writing this book really about teaching people to respect the way people with autism communicate? Dr. Tippy: Our notion here at the Rebecca School, and really Stanley Greenspan's notion, is that everything starts with respect. Respect really means that you're following a kid's lead and not imposing what you imagine what the kid needs on the kid. We are a developmental model, so obviously we have an idea of where we think kids develop. But it all starts with asking what is this kid interested in and how can I be in a relationship with him? Respect also means, for instance, we don't wipe kids noses without asking their permission. We think kids have the same or even better ideas than we have and their thoughts and desires need to be respected in a way that we would respect anybody. So I thought, let's call it "Respecting Autism." Let's...

Respecting Autism: A Talk with Dr. Gil Tippy

Dr. Gil Tippy, co-author of  Respecting Autism  and a founder of the Rebecca School in New York, talks to SpecialNeeds.com about his book and the philosphies that the school was built upon, many of them Dr. Greenspan’s legacies.  SN: Dr. Tippy, congratulations on the book. I very much enjoyed the way you and Dr. Greenspan make autism accessible to those who do not necessarily understand it or maybe have not had very many experiences with people on the spectrum.  I wanted to ask you about the title, Respecting Autism. Was your and Dr. Greenspan's goal in writing this book really about teaching people to respect the way people with autism communicate?  Dr. Tippy: Our notion here at the Rebecca School, and really Stanley Greenspan's notion, is that everything starts with respect. Respect really means that you're following a kid's lead and not imposing what you imagine what the kid needs on the kid. We are a developmental model, so obviously we have an idea of where we think kids develop. But it all starts with asking what is this kid interested in and how can I be in a relationship with him? Respect also means, for instance, we don't wipe kids noses without asking their permission. We think kids have the same or even better ideas than we have and their thoughts and desires need to be respected in a way that we would respect anybody. So I thought, let's call it "Respecting Autism." Let's...

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Special Needs
Articles

Aligning the Mis-aligned

When Guilt Takes Over: A Parent's Guide to Processing the Hard Emotions

Your Child's 504 Plan for Diabetes: A Complete Guide for School Management

The Drug Development Pipeline for Special Needs: What Parents Need to Know About How Treatments Go from Lab to FDA Approval

How to Request a Reasonable Accommodation from Your Landlord: A Step-by-Step Guide

Respecting Autism: A Talk with Dr. Gil Tippy

Find Providers Near You

Special Needs Articles

Aligning the Mis-aligned

When Guilt Takes Over: A Parent's Guide to Processing the Hard Emotions

Your Child's 504 Plan for Diabetes: A Complete Guide for School Management

The Drug Development Pipeline for Special Needs: What Parents Need to Know About How Treatments Go from Lab to FDA Approval

How to Request a Reasonable Accommodation from Your Landlord: A Step-by-Step Guide

Respecting Autism: A Talk with Dr. Gil Tippy

Find Providers Near You

Special Needs
Articles