Ahh...Reactive Attachment Disorder. It didn't mean much to me when the therapist made that diagnosis of my then 8-year-old daughter. After all, I already knew her problems stemmed from the neglect she had suffered as a baby. From being left in soiled diapers, to eating out of garbage cans, even the act of me showing up with the sheriff's deputies to take custody left a huge impression. She missed her mother — who wouldn't? Every little girl wants (and deserves) a mother who will hold them, coo to them, brush their hair. But I figured with a little extra love we'd be alright. Boy was I wrong. RAD is far deeper than that. You can't "fix" RAD with a little extra love and attention (no matter what the adoption agency tells you). You can't "fix" RAD with charts or rewards or any of the other typical parenting methods that work for most people. In fact, if you are parenting a child with RAD, take everything you've ever learned about parenting, turn it upside down and inside out if you hope to keep your sanity. RAD develops in children who suffer intense emotional or physical trauma at a very young age. Not all children who suffer trauma will develop RAD, but a traumatic childhood is the common factor among children with this diagnosis. In a nutshell, the child learns that others are not to be trusted. They are there to cause pain, and if the...

Parent describes the challenges of raising a daughter with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), a condition rooted in early trauma.

Reactive Attachment Disorder

 Ahh...Reactive Attachment Disorder. It didn't mean much to me when the therapist made that diagnosis of my then 8-year-old daughter. After all, I already knew her problems stemmed from the neglect she had suffered as a baby. From being left in soiled diapers, to eating out of garbage cans, even the act of me showing up with the sheriff's deputies to take custody left a huge impression. She missed her mother — who wouldn't? Every little girl wants (and deserves) a mother who will hold them, coo to them, brush their hair. But I figured with a little extra love we'd be alright.   Boy was I wrong. RAD is far deeper than that. You can't "fix" RAD with a little extra love and attention (no matter what the adoption agency tells you). You can't "fix" RAD with charts or rewards or any of the other typical parenting methods that work for most people. In fact, if you are parenting a child with RAD, take everything you've ever learned about parenting, turn it upside down and inside out if you hope to keep your sanity.    RAD develops in children who suffer intense emotional or physical trauma at a very young age. Not all children who suffer trauma will develop RAD, but a traumatic childhood is the common factor among children with this diagnosis. In a nutshell, the child learns that others are not to be trusted. They are there to cause pain, and if the...

Parent describes the challenges of raising a daughter with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), a condition rooted in early trauma.

Reactive Attachment Disorder

When it comes to RAD, 8 seems to be our "magic number." My daughter was 8 years old when she was diagnosed. It took 8 years before I could honestly say she seems to be healing. We've gone through 8 therapists. But most taxing of all, we've survived 8 CPS investigations. Yes, 8...EIGHT!! It's stressful enough to have CPS at your door even once, but by the eighth time you get pretty used to it. It's not that we're bad parents either — *every* *single* *report* was deemed to be untrue. In fact, with CPS the default stance seems to be "guilty until proven innocent," but by the end of our eighth investigation our record was flagged with "innocent until proven guilty." So how did we get ourselves into such a mess? Welcome to Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)!! Take RAD, mix in type-1 diabetes (insulin dependent), add a bunch of well-meaning adults, and you have a recipe for CPS soup. Children with RAD are masters at triangulating the adults in their lives. They thrive on controlling the situation (no matter what it is), and learn from an early age how to manipulate to get what they believe they need. If that means turning the rest of the world against the very people that love them, that's ok — it's all about getting their needs met their way. You can't fault them for it either — it's how their brain is wired from...

Family with a RAD daughter faced 8 CPS probes, all false. Advice: keep records for CPS; understand RAD-related manipulation.

The Magic Number 8

 When it comes to RAD, 8 seems to be our "magic number." My daughter was 8 years old when she was diagnosed. It took 8 years before I could honestly say she seems to be healing. We've gone through 8 therapists. But most taxing of all, we've survived 8 CPS investigations.   Yes, 8...EIGHT!! It's stressful enough to have CPS at your door even once, but by the eighth time you get pretty used to it. It's not that we're bad parents either — *every* *single* *report* was deemed to be untrue. In fact, with CPS the default stance seems to be "guilty until proven innocent," but by the end of our eighth investigation our record was flagged with "innocent until proven guilty."    So how did we get ourselves into such a mess?   Welcome to Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)!! Take RAD, mix in type-1 diabetes (insulin dependent), add a bunch of well-meaning adults, and you have a recipe for CPS soup. Children with RAD are masters at triangulating the adults in their lives. They thrive on controlling the situation (no matter what it is), and learn from an early age how to manipulate to get what they believe they need. If that means turning the rest of the world against the very people that love them, that's ok — it's all about getting their needs met their way. You can't fault them for it either — it's how their brain is wired from...

Understanding Reactive Attachment Disorder — An Overview of One of the More Misunderstood Conditions Affecting Child Welfare A few years ago, I spent a good bit of my time crisscrossing the country lecturing on the topic of Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) — a mental health disorder common among children who were subject to severe abuse and neglect during critical stages of brain development in infancy. I argued then that the misdiagnosing and subsequent counterproductive treatment of the disorder was the single biggest issue confounding the child welfare system. I still think that's true. I don't see any evidence that the situation is improving. In fact, it's reached a crisis point and we need to make this issue more a part of our national dialogue. Reactive Attachment Disorder is caused when an infant doesn't bond properly to its primary caregiver. This basic loss results in ongoing feelings of rage, shame, lack of trust, a morbid fear of attaching to anyone, an inability to understand cause and effect thinking and a compulsive need to control everyone and every situation. Extreme cases are typically caused by chronic neglect in early infancy followed by years of instability — an all-too-common formula for children in foster care. Without proper intervention, these children have little chance of meaningful relationships. In foster care, they often bounce from foster home to foster home as one well-meaning foster parent after another gives up because...

RAD is a misunderstood condition common in abused/neglected kids, leading to severe relational issues, requiring specialized therapy.

Understanding Reactive Attachment Disorder

  Understanding Reactive Attachment Disorder — An Overview of One of the More Misunderstood Conditions Affecting Child Welfare    A few years ago, I spent a good bit of my time crisscrossing the country lecturing on the topic of Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) — a mental health disorder common among children who were subject to severe abuse and neglect during critical stages of brain development in infancy.   I argued then that the misdiagnosing and subsequent counterproductive treatment of the disorder was the single biggest issue confounding the child welfare system.   I still think that's true. I don't see any evidence that the situation is improving. In fact, it's reached a crisis point and we need to make this issue more a part of our national dialogue.   Reactive Attachment Disorder is caused when an infant doesn't bond properly to its primary caregiver. This basic loss results in ongoing feelings of rage, shame, lack of trust, a morbid fear of attaching to anyone, an inability to understand cause and effect thinking and a compulsive need to control everyone and every situation.   Extreme cases are typically caused by chronic neglect in early infancy followed by years of instability — an all-too-common formula for children in foster care.   Without proper intervention, these children have little chance of meaningful relationships. In foster care, they often bounce from foster home to foster home as one well-meaning foster parent after another gives up because...

Understanding Reactive Attachment Disorder

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Special Needs
Articles

Reactive Attachment Disorder

The Magic Number 8

Understanding Reactive Attachment Disorder

Find Providers Near You

Special Needs Articles

Reactive Attachment Disorder

The Magic Number 8

Understanding Reactive Attachment Disorder

Find Providers Near You

Special Needs
Articles